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Depression, Health, Boredom, Interesting People, and Self-Esteem

By Mar 08,2016 Follow Me on Google+

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Summary
In order to reach your full potential, you must avoid depression, obesity and unhealthy foods, boredom, and uninteresting people. Your daily activities should seek to improve in each of these categories; as you do, you will find yourself better equipped to face life’s challenges. Maintain various interests in addition to your work, and try to connect with interesting people to establish a healthy self-esteem.

I remember my first encounters with the self-improvement industry when I was younger. In many areas of the United States, people look at self-improvement as something that is absolutely crazy. That is how the people around me viewed it when I was growing up. When I think about self-improvement, however, I think about people doing things like:

  • …trying to improve their mood and level of happiness
  • …trying to improve their health
  • …trying to become interested in new things
  • …trying to meet other interesting people
  • …trying to improve their self-esteem

This is for the most part what self-improvement is all about–these five things mentioned above. It takes on different forms (and some people make one or more of these issues their sole focus) but this is essentially what self-improvement is  about. The people who do these five things well are the ones who experience the most change and live the best lives.

I have spent a lot of time with people who focus on these five things and I can tell you that they have usually managed to transform their lives into something that is so far beyond what I saw growing up, it is unbelievable. Some of these people own islands in exotic places. Others have the partner of their dreams. Others have confidence they have used to forge amazing careers on the world stage. Others have more friends than they can count. Focusing on these five areas and learning to excel in them can mean the difference between your living the life of your dreams–and living an average life.

When you start thinking about the “average” person out there, you start to realize that what is going on in the world is not inspiring for everyone. I have heard the average adult American often described as someone who

  • …is mildly depressed
  • …is at least 25 pounds overweight and unhealthy
  • …is bored most of the time
  • …does not know many interesting people
  • …has low self-esteem

This description of the average person is, in my opinion, quite true. When you go to an average town in America, these are the kinds of people you meet. This description comprises many of my relatives, and I am sure it comprises many of your relatives as well. This may even describe you. Many people fit this mold.

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I am not being judgmental about this; however, it is extremely important to point this out because, all in all, it relates to you. These characteristics of (1) depression, (2) being overweight, (3) being bored, (4) not knowing interesting people, and (5) having low self-esteem are all things that hold the average person back. In contrast, the people who seem to have the most success in everything they do fight the tide that seems to naturally draw people toward each of these pitfalls.

Make no mistake about it: there is a tide out there that is pushing most of us to be depressed, unhealthy, bored, around boring people, and with low self-esteem. If you think about it, this is where the greater weight of the world is pushing most people–and it is pushing you too. Reverse this tide and spend your life fighting for the opposite, and you will experience much more success and happiness than you can imagine.

1. Fight Against Depression in Your Life. Being depressed is a huge danger. When you are depressed, you are less effective in everything you do because you spend most of your energy focused on negative thoughts. You look at the world in a negative manner and see unhappiness instead of happiness. The world does not look like the fun place it should, and instead, it appears to be an unpleasant place–sometimes extremely so. You see only obstacles, not opportunity. You do not have the energy you need to complete things and succeed.

According to a 2009 USA Today article:

The number of Americans using antidepressants doubled in only a decade, while the number seeing psychiatrists continued to fall, a study shows. About 10% of Americans — or 27 million people — were taking antidepressants in 2005, the last year for which data were available at the time the study was written. That’s about twice the number in 1996, according to the study of nearly 50,000 children and adults in today’s Archives of General Psychiatry. Yet the majority weren’t being treated for depression. Half of those taking antidepressants used them for back pain, nerve pain, fatigue, sleep difficulties or other problems, the study says. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-08-03-antidepressants_N.htm

Despite these numbers, it is certain that the number of people who are depressed is much higher than the number of people using antidepressants, and probably several times so.

In order to fight depression, it is important that we take numerous actions in our daily lives. For example, we should do our best to avoid being around depressed people because their attitudes will wear off on us. It is also difficult to be depressed when you are moving and active; therefore, keeping active is important. Being around inspiring people and events can help you avoid being depressed too, as can exercise and a healthy diet. Talking through your problems can help you avoid being depressed. Dwelling on positive thoughts and accomplishments can also help you stay in a happy, healthy state of mind. Seeing a doctor or therapist if you are depressed for too long is also a good idea to get guidance.

2. Fight Being Overweight and Unhealthy. Numerous studies have linked obesity to all sorts of other problems:

“Research Links Obesity with Depression, Other Mood Disorders”
By Lindsey Tanner, Associated Press | July 10, 2006

Despite the stereotype, fat people are not more jolly than people of normal weight, according to a study that instead found obesity strongly linked with depression and other mood disorders.

Whether obesity might cause these problems or is the result of them is not certain, and the research does not provide an answer, but there are theories to support both arguments.

Depression often causes people to abandon activities, and some medications used to treat mental illness can cause weight gain. On the other hand, obesity is often seen as a stigma, and overweight people often are subject to teasing and other hurtful behavior.

The study of more than 9,000 adults found that mood and anxiety disorders, including depression, were about 25 percent more common in the obese people studied than in the non-obese. Substance abuse was an exception: Obese people were about 25 percent less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol than slimmer participants.

The results, which appear in the July issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, “suggest that the cultural stereotype of the jolly fat person is more a figment of our imagination than a reality,” said Dr. Wayne Fenton of the National Institute of Mental Health, which funded the study. “The take-home message for doctors is to be on the lookout for depression among their patients who are overweight.”

Both conditions are quite common. About one-third of US adults are obese, and depression affects about 10 percent of the population, or nearly 21 million US adults in a given year.

Previous studies produced conflicting results on whether obesity is linked with mental illness including depression, although a growing body of research suggests there is an association.

This latest study helps resolve the question, said Dr. Susan McElroy, a psychiatry professor at the University of Cincinnati and editor of a textbook on obesity and mental disorders.

The number of Americans who are overweight and unhealthy is incredible, as reflected in the following government statistics from 2005-2006:

  • Percent of non-institutionalized adults age 20 years and over who are overweight or obese: 67%
  • Percent of adolescents age 12-19 years who are overweight: 18%
  • Percent of children age 6-11 years who are overweight: 15%
  • Percent of children age 2-5 years who are overweight: 11% http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/overwt.htm

Being overweight and obese has numerous side effects that can hurt you from reaching your full potential in your career and life. For example, obesity can have a major impact on whether you are hired or promoted by certain employers:

Employment provides an outlet for social discrimination. There is evidence that obesity causes discrimination in work settings. With different reasons relating to obesity, employers have specific ways to avoid hiring obese people. Job placement and promotion are affected by obesity and gender compounds weight discrimination.

Why do Employers not hire those who are Obese?
Stereotypes can lead employers not to hire an obese person. People who are obese are seen as “less desirable” employees who, compared with others, are less competent, less productive, not industrious, disorganized, indecisive, inactive, and less successful.” … Employers have three main reasons to not hire an obese person. Employers use store image, insurance costs and future health conditions, and physical limitations as reasons not to hire obese people. http://www.uhh.hawaii.edu/academics/hohonu/writing.php?id=111

It is a difficult news to digest, but if you are going to reach your full potential in your career and in your life, obesity is something you need to fight against as much as you possibly can. Maintaining a healthy weight is something you should do your best to achieve, as doing so will benefit you both professionally and personally. Obesity has been shown to relate to the quality of our moods and productivity; therefore, in order to succeed you need to make sure that you are as psychologically and physically fit as possible.

Consider developing a dietary plan and strategy that enables you to have the best health possible. You also need to stick to an exercise plan that allows you to stay fit.

Maintaining your ideal weight can help you live much longer and can give you the energy and focus to do well in your career. In addition, exercise can help alleviate stress. Virtually every successful person I know has made exercise and weight control a priority, and it is something that they are continually striving to maintain. You too should make this a priority.

3. Do Fun Things and Have Various Interests, so You Are Not Bored. I am not sure why this is; however, the most happy and successful people out there generally have strong interests in one or many things outside of work, and they are never bored. The strong outside interest could be something as simple as fly fishing, or it could be contemporary literature, for example.

Hobbies and interests are a great way for us to relieve stress and they are helpful in allowing us to divert our focus away from the subject of our work to something completely unrelated. In addition, hobbies expose us to people with similar interests, which helps us make friends.

It is important that you have interests and do things you enjoy when you are not working. These interests could require you to read or learn new things. Regardless of what you choose to do, having outside interests will make you more interesting and will make your life fuller.

When you are bored you tend to wallow. Wallowing typically will not lead to your making the most of yourself. When you wallow, for example, you tend to get depressed and you tend to eat more and be unhealthy. You need to put yourself in a place wherein you are occupied, alert, and interested. Being interested in outside things will also make you more interesting to others, which will lead to your being more successful as well.

4. Spend Your Time with and Seek out Other Interesting People. It is important that you spend your time with people who are interesting and are also seeking to succeed, as you are. If you are around people with the shared goals of avoiding depression, being healthy, and having outside interests, the odds are very good that you will be similarly motivated and you can keep each other on track.

When you are around interesting people, you will find yourself becoming more like them as well. The benefit of spending your time around accomplished people is that the people who are part of the group challenge each other and support each other to grow. You will see other accomplished people setting goals, and you will imitate them by setting your own goals, for example.

You should seek out interesting people in your life and do your best to be around them. Interesting people will “pick you up” and help you grow and become more accomplished. They will also keep you engaged, help you avoid being bored, and connect you with opportunities that interest you.

5. Work on Your Self-Esteem. Nothing can hold us back like having low self-esteem. I have seen people with very little talent rise to great heights due to nothing more than the sheer force of their self-esteem. It is important that you do everything you can to develop your self-esteem. The better you feel about yourself, the more you can accomplish and the more strength you will have to finish whatever projects you start.

Self-esteem comes from many places, and many people base their confidence on things they have done in the past. Other people base their self-esteem on what other people say about them. Still others base their self-esteem on their weight or how good their job is. The thing about self-esteem is that it really needs to be internal and should be unwavering, no matter what stage of life we are in or how well we may feel we are doing at something. Self-esteem should be a constant and we should make every effort to continually feel good about ourselves, because not doing so will hurt us tremendously.

There are many methods to improve your self-esteem, such as journaling, therapy, self-hypnosis, engaging in activities you are good at that give you reinforcement, and others. Everyone will have their own solutions and ideas about what they can do to improve their self-esteem. The important thing is that you do whatever you can to ensure you have high self-esteem because not doing so will hold you back and prevent you from becoming the person you are capable of becoming.

***

In order to be everything you are capable of being, it is essential that you fight against (1) depression, (2) being overweight and unhealthy, (3) being bored, (4) not knowing interesting people, and (5) having low self-esteem. Your daily activities and goals should relate to bringing yourself up in each of these categories, as you rise to meet life’s many challenges.

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  • steveaustin

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  • mikemac

    When the negative reactions to life`s situations become repetitively intense and frequent we develop symptoms of depression. Life throws up innumerable situations, which we greet with both negative and positive emotions such as excitement, frustration, fear, happiness, anger, sadness, joy et al. Depression is prevalent among all age groups, in almost all walks of life.

  • alexbob

    According to Dr Sharad Chandra, a practicing psychiatrist in India, depression is an abstract feeling and cannot be recognized as such by children below the age of eight. As in adults various stress factors create depression in children. The most critical period is that of puberty where a child undergoes many hormonal changes and is especially prone to mood fluctuations and social withdrawal. Inabilty to understand the problem and immaturity often lead them to suicides. In New Delhi, India, alone there were 15 cases of exam-related suicide cases in 1997. Sarthak, a NGO in New Delhi, had set up a 24 hour hotline called Operation Hope for students to cope with exam results in the same year. It received almost 2,000 calls from all over India. Five hundred of these came from teenagers with suicidal tendencies.

  • symonds

    Self-esteem is the disposition to experience oneself as being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in the efficacy of our mind, in our ability to think. By extension, it is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is also the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment—happiness—are right and natural for us. The survival-value of such confidence is obvious; so is the danger when it is missing.

    • Shivu

      You are a very smart and wise young woman . NO ; its not to early to start taking care of your heart Here what you have to do . Eat hehalty . Avoid junk food like pest ; eat lots of veggies and fruits ; also avoid all fatty food [ like bagel donuts etc; ] Exercise daily for 15 min ; keep your weight down ; and do not smoke and much less doing drugs . If you are doing all this ; at 80 your heart will be in perfect shape

  • jackspar

    if we are mindful in this area, we see that self-esteem is not a free gift of nature. It has to be cultivated, has to be earned. It cannot be acquired by blowing oneself a kiss in the mirror and saying, “Good morning, Perfect.” It cannot be attained by being showered with praise. Nor by sexual conquests. Nor by material acquisitions. Nor by the scholastic or career achievements of one’s children. Nor by a hypnotist planting the thought that one is wonderful. Nor by allowing young people to believe they are better students than they really are and know more than they really know; faking reality is not a path to mental health or authentic self-assurance. However, just as people dream of attaining effortless wealth, so they dream of attaining effortless self-esteem—and unfortunately the marketplace is full of panderers to this longing.

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    Great job search site! What I like the most is the mapping job feature. I did a job keyword search and it showed the results on map. It allowed me to zoom to state, county, or city level. This really help me to visualize where the jobs are. Another thing I like is the job agent. .but all i got about online job sites was sites asking for clarify our doubts and suggestions…. this kind of job websites are complicated to produce and need many different types of people to make the product complete.

  • Call It Like It Is

    What nerve you must have. Depression is a very serious malady and often requires medical attention. Your decision to neglect this fact and profess that depression can be cured without medical attention is eggregious and irresponsible. I wonder, what in your background Mr. Barnes authorizes you to proclaim your expertise on mental health issues? Any reputable commentary always comes with the statement that the individual MUST coordinate symptoms and treatment with their doctor. You are a disgrace.

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  • jacksparking

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  • jackjamesking

    For a beginner, to pursue a viable career can be somewhat challenging, as their knowledge about this is either void or negligible. Yet the issue can be resolved readily if you come over to the point what hobbies or interests were of immense liking to you. And once employing them in your career hub, you can seriously start making money. Those avocations that have now turned into your profession are honestly the first springboard in providing you guaranteed success.

  • jackalexking

    Being a beginner, you may not have that special skills or knowledge required to expand your potential plans and without these elements, finding a relevant job is seemingly possible. Therefore, the second important career advice portrays to go back to the past while you were in school or you can undergo some specific training that can hone your ability and skills. To be precise, you need to determine an institution where you can earn a degree/diploma/license of the stream of your best liking. This will encourage you to keep to your studies.

  • steveaustin

    This website is the very busy website,because at a time lot of peoples can open this website.All the persons are can register our name in this website.All the companies are gives their job vacancies in this website.So, all the candidates are confirm got the job. I will got the job only few days,so you will register your name and got the job….

  • Deirdre

    This is a very nice article. Thanks!

  • asma

    yes for the past 4 yrs i have been going under major depression the thought like i am no one,no one in the world likes me or what will they say if i say this or that i hate it thus all leading to only one path suicide.i normally stay at home and meet no one and when i do i have negative thoughts thus making my life miserable.i feel i have not been able to grow due to my lack of self esteem.its such a disease which either God or i can only stop.

  • James P. Cassidy

    You should also include a belief in a higher power or a union with the universe that surrounds us. Without that, there is no motivation to move forward

  • rajat

    I’m reading your articles for so long so i just want to say they are awesome . The way you tell the stories and their in-depth message is out of this world .

  • Morgan

    I often read your emails and have never responded even though I have disagreed with a lot of the things you have said in the past. Today’s posting, however, was extremely offensive. In fact, it was so offensive that I didn’t get past your advice on depression.

    You tell people to avoid depressed people because their attitudes “will wear off on us.” You do realize that depression is a serious disease like cancer, right? Depressed people aren’t depressed because they just don’t want to get better. Would you advise us to avoid people who have cancer for fear that their disease would bring us down?

    Your attitude is so disturbing because what you recommend is exactly the opposite of what a depressed person needs. Those going through a serious bout of depression need all of the support they can get, and to justify avoding depressed people as if their depression is contagious is both factually incorrect and incredibly selfish. It sounds as if you have no experience with severe depression either in yourself or in someone that you care about. I’m fine with trying to surround yourself with positive people, but to ditch people who may be experiencing depression is cold and heartless.

  • willo

    This is a great article. Depression nearly ruined my career. I am bipolar, have fought it my whole life, and although it probably was not something I could have completely controlled on my own, some of these points are true and helpful even applied to serious depression.

    It is a fact that when seriously depressed, most withdraw from friends, become less active, and when they do associate with others they tend to gravitate to other depressed people who will commiserate and moan with them, and they abandon their interests. Exercise produces endorphins that buoy most; relationships with positive people remind depressed people that there is a positive side of life and that there are those who care about them no matter how they try to deny it. Keeping in touch with their interests often reminds them of the positive side of life and connects them with people, too. None of these are failsafes, but all of them help. It is when the depressed person withdraws and begins to do nothing, in almost all cases, that friends and family need to worry, that life tends to be abandoned, relationships eventually suffer in all areas–friends, love, career.

    People need to stay active, and stay involved!

    And they need to get professional help if they seriously are depressed, if one doctor doesn’t help, if one medication doesn’t help or only helps for a little, they need to try again. I wasn’t diagnosed with bipolar until I 35 years old, and all the drugs for depression didn’t help much, or very long–some made things worse.

  • Helaine Elem

    I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic info I was looking for this information for my mission.

  • Carole

    You probably are eehitr allergic or have asthma. You might be allergic to dogs or cats. We cannot tell you what to do when you are not cleared by a physician. Your parents are responsible for your health. To neglect your health is cause for your teachers to contact CPS. I recommend that you execute your rights and go to the doctor with your insurance information and be diagnosed and treated. Should you wish to understand the legality of this information, view the laws regarding children’s rights for your state or contact legal aide or the child neglect hotline

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