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Never Worry about What Others Think

By Jun 21,2016 Follow Me on Google+

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Summary
Pursue your own dreams and become the person that you want to be, rather than what others might want. Living life according to the wishes of others is meaningless, and will bring you neither happiness nor success. Others do not understand your capabilities, goals, and interests as well as you do, hence their opinions should be your least concern. Have faith in your own potential greatness, and you will develop the confidence to act upon it and be the person that you really want to be, achieving true fulfillment.

never-worry-about-what-others-think-compressedBeing concerned with what others think is one of the biggest mistakes people make. Rather than focusing on who they want to be and what they want to do, many people live their lives more concerned about how they look to others. Deep down inside you is someone who is capable of achieving great things and becoming a great person. This is the person you should be.

Several years ago, I remember turning in a paper to Saul Levmore, who is now the dean of the University of Chicago Law School. I was taking a class with him while I was at the University of Virginia Law School and had not spent a lot of time with him or gotten to know him very well. I had written a paper for him and was very enthusiastic about it. I called him on the telephone to discuss the paper and we spoke for perhaps 15 minutes about it. Saul knew I was enthusiastic about the paper. It was a good paper, too–in my opinion. Even before it had been graded I’d sent it to various publications, and it was accepted prior to the end of the class.

At the end of the discussion, I asked him:

“What sort of grade do you think my paper is going to get?”

“I knew you were going to ask that,” he said.

What

 job title, keywords

Where

 city, state, zip



“How did you know I was going to ask that?” I asked.

“Because you are more concerned about what others think of your work than what you think of it. You care too much about what others think. The grade is unimportant.”

I thought about this statement a great deal at the time and was not sure I understood it, but I knew he was on to something. I have thought about this statement again and again over the years. After more than a decade of puzzling over it, I think I finally realize the depth of what he was saying.

Saul was saying that you need to be focused on your work, and not consumed by what others think about it. You can only do great things and achieve great success when you do not care what others think. You need to follow your heart and do what you think is right. You need to be loyal to exactly what you want to do.

Other people don’t know what makes you tick and makes you happy. Other people are more likely to criticize you than praise you. Other people often have their own agendas that involve you not following your dreams. It is extremely important to follow your dreams and pursue what you want to do.

I would like to tell you a quick story about how I got into the business I am in today.

Several years ago, I was a practicing attorney and I did not like the work at all. When I gave notice and quit the law firm, I did so knowing that law was simply not what I wanted to pursue any longer. My family was very proud of me for being an attorney, and all of my friends and the people I knew were also attorneys. I knew very well if I left the practice of law, I would lose a great deal. In addition to losing a way of life, I would be losing a great deal of income as well as the admiration of certain people. I had contemplated not practicing law for months and months, and everyone around me was very quick to offer the opinion that leaving would be a huge mistake. I struggled internally for quite a long time with this decision.

When I discovered the practice of recruiting, I knew deep down this was something I wanted to pursue. It clicked with me and it was something I absolutely loved. I knew I would be good at it. My family, significant other, and everyone around me told me making this career change would be insane. When I went out to buy a computer to start the business, a family member was with me who told me such a purchase was reckless and irresponsible. I started my business with no plan and no idea what would happen. I did it only when I realized I had to listen to myself in order to be happy. I had to do what was most important to me.

Inside of you, and inside of each of us, is the person we want to be. This person is not controlled by what others think and, instead, is allowed to come out and be extremely happy. It is my life and career advice to let that person “come out.” However, we are so programmed by what others think we are often afraid to be who we really want to be.

While I am not gay, I am moved by gay people who are able to come out and be themselves, despite the prejudices of society. I think it is extremely important for people to be exactly who they want to be without caving in to the influence of others. There are probably millions of people in the United States who are gay but who are afraid to come out and be themselves. These people may even marry members of the opposite sex and try to build lives as straight people, all the while not being who they really are. Imagine the pain such people must feel.

Do not let this happen to you. You need to be the person you want to be in your life and in your career. So many people go through life never being who they want to be or doing what they want to do.

Job searching is among the most important activities in your life because it is when you get the chance to discover exactly who you want to be. I encourage you to do this now!

Come out and be the person you want to be–and are capable of being. You do not need to blame people, circumstances, or your environment for liking, or disliking, your job and your life. Instead, take charge of being exactly who you want to be and be that person. Do this without worrying about what other people think.

THE LESSON

Pursue your own dreams and become the person that you want to be, rather than what others might want. Living life according to the wishes of others is meaningless, and will bring you neither happiness nor success. Others do not understand your capabilities, goals, and interests as well as you do, hence their opinions should be your least concern. Have faith in your own potential greatness, and you will develop the confidence to act upon it and be the person that you really want to be, achieving true fulfillment.

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  • juvy

    you are right,we are resposible for our own happiness ,thanks a lot about your ideas. May God Bless you always!

  • Cyndi

    The articles by Harrison Barnes provide such helpful insight. Thank you so very much.

  • This article is very nice.It describes one of the biggest mistakes people make.It tells “Do your work without worrying about what other people think” which is really good.

  • agnesmaria

    A Harrison Barnes is the powerful search engine tools for search the jobs in any where. Now a day most of the people like this site. Thank you to all.

  • Edward J. Shannon

    Thanks Harrison – Your article arrives on my 47th birthday and it’s probably the best thing I’ve ever read!

  • agnesmaria

    A Harrison Barnes is the powerful search engine tools for search the jobs. This site article is very nice. This article is understood for all people. Thank you.

  • you are right,we are resposible for our own happiness ,thanks a lot about your ideas. May God Bless you always!

  • The articles by Harrison Barnes provide such helpful insight. Thank you so very much.

  • I have been growing up listening the phrase from my elders which says,’just do your work without thinking about the result’. Your article says something like that. Yes, we should give priority to the work what I want to do, not what others are telling..Thanks for your wonderful advice.

  • Georaj

    The writer has yet again made a very significant point. What really matters is honest self analysis for assessing ones capabilities and charting the path of life and career accordingly. Bothering about what other people think about you only creates confusion.

  • shoumen

    Harrison Barnes web site is very popular for job search advice. Harrison Barnes site like a career advice web site. This web site is providing career advice to choose their expected jobs for their life. Harrison believes that the best stories typically revolve around the employee being very motivated to do a good job and continually wanting to improve in his or her employment.

  • Harrison, I am learning so much from you.
    “What others Think”…the “others” outnumber the “me.” “They” are quick to judge, comment, ridicule. Their voices are drowning out my own. When its 10 to 1, self doubt abounds. Its scary being Independent, harder to not listen, and not feel the stings of arrows.

    For a species so uniquely different, we strive to conform and be alike. WHY? Why are we humans afraid to be Unique, Different, Independent?

    Being a lawyer or a recruiter will not cause religious/legal/social fanatics to revile and despise you. (ok, maybe being a lawyer will). Until “they” accept that its OK to be different, gays will continue to be persecuted, simply because they are “different.” It’s much easier to pretend & blend in, to avoid the awfull comments “they” make. How much flak is Obama getting for his comment about gays in the military?

    As for me, I am trying hard to remain unique and Independent. I am one of a kind, and thats a GOOD thing. thank you for reminding me it OK to think & be different.

    Kat

  • Dawn Dziuba

    There are limits on this advice regarding responsibility, Harrison. I find value in chastity. My personal belief is that sex should be for the purpose of producing a child. Most of the social problems of disease, social problems, and unexpected pregnancy can be avoided if people practice abstinence. I believe practicing the abstinence of direct sexual contact is one of the best guidelines for both men and women because of the health, emotional, and spiritual benefits. It is disappointing that much of contemporary culture encourages risk taking behavior that degrades people, and I think it is wise to discourage such risk taking.

  • Dawn Dziuba

    Abstinence is not the easy choice, but it is the responsible choice. The health benefits of avoiding exchange of sexual body fluid far outweigh any the risks of any sexual contact. Encouraging people to be responsible and avoid risk taking behavior could save society and health institutions millions of dollars. A person does not need religion to understand the health, emotional, spiritual, and financial benefits of avoiding contact with body fluids; it is justified by the health concerns. The reason for abstaining from direct sexual contact is a very simple direct health benefit; there are far greater harms and risks associated with having any sexual contact at all. The health benefits of abstinence out weigh the health harms and risks that come with any sexual activity. Having said this, I still am pro-choice because I believe a woman must have control over her body. I also believe access to birth control in all forms must be protected so that women can be empowered to be in control.

  • Dawn Dziuba

    I am so risk adverse that I set a high price and conditions under which I would consider reproduction. If I choose to go this route, I will know that I made every effort to be responsible in my decision.

    I am interested in helping families that wish to have a child.

  • Dawn Dziuba

    This is wisdom from weighing the health benefits, harms, risks and costs of a decision. People ask me if it is religious: the truth is that it is based on health benefits, risks, harms, and costs. That is the reason why I exercise self control over this aspect of my health. I don’t understand why people are so shocked that I refrain from contact with body fluids; to me the health benefits of doing so are obvious. This question seems to come up agan and again, so I am stating the reason.

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